♂ smirky mcsmirkertons

dare to believe in the unbelievable

MOVED → afastmachine [*]

Friending // Selectively Friending // Not Friending (I'm not looking for new friends now)
BONUS! Now on Dreamwidth. You can follow me there; [personal profile] majorshipper. If you need an invite, hit me up!

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If you have questions related to spn_party, please use the Page-A-Mod post there rather than contacting me via this journal. If you'd like to contact me about one of the OTHER communities I maintain, please PM me.

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☆ fancomics are awesome

all good things

First of all, thank you everyone for the condolences. I can't get back to every single one of you, but I do appreciate it. I told my dad that a bunch of my friends had offered their condolences and he was like "how many?" and I was all "oh, like, twenty something..." and he just looked at me. And I looked back. It was a moment. Anyways. Honestly, it meant a lot. And really, 90% of what's been going through my head is relief after I got over the initial wave of feels. Because in the end there, it was really bad for her. Not gonna get scary detailed, but when half your torso is covered in open wounds, there isn't enough pain medicine in the world to make it comfortable.

But, I don't feel like...I was close to mom. Closer than pretty much anyone else in my life ever. But at the same time I'm not going through the same things everyone always associates with grief. It's probably because we got most of our grieving in when she was still alive, but I'm just trying to get back to "normal" and do what I always said I wanted to do and all the things we talked about me getting to do.

To that end. (Hey, segue!) This is my last post in this account. I'm officially switching over to afastmachine. I've been commenting under that one in most places, and my graphics comm has been moved over. I still have to move over my watching/member lists, and the people I want to friend who haven't yet friended me, but I'm trying to get back into the groove of things so that'll be part of it. So last call, as it were. If you want to keep up with me, head on over there. You might get friend notifs from that account, and that'll be me. I'll be changing my sticky to reflect my movement, too. My profile already has been moved and cleared out. I still have my log-in for this account, I'm not abandoning it by far, and you can still get ahold of me my commenting/messaging this one, but you'll be seeing afastmachine around instead of sgmajorshipper. So I'll see you on the flip side. :)

ETA: I have friended everyone I had listed as my friend, I believe. If I missed you, poke me or add my new journal.
☆ fancomics are awesome

(no subject)

My mom just passed away this evening.

I'm still not sure what I'm feeling. Empty, mostly. I don't want to be here at home any more. I can't spend the night here. I need to get out. I've cried but I need to feel better.

We knew it was coming, and honestly, we were expecting it any hour. We've made plans, our lives are in order, everyone knows what is next. And yet I don't know what's going to happen next. What am I supposed to do now?

I still don't feel like death is anything to cry and fret and be crushed by. But losing someone is still hard. There's been too much heartbreak lately.
  • Current Mood
    okay okay
♂ if god is with us

(no subject)

Hey, sorry I've been a bit MIA from my flist and email. I've been dealing with work, which has exploded this past week, working out, which has become a priority, and mum, which is even more of a priority. I'm still working on things, when I have a moment, but I'm thinking I won't have anything updatey or of note to talk about 'till the weekend at the earliest. Hopefully next week I'll get some progress under my belt.

I got my laptop in yesterday, and I've done some stuff, but, again, time. If anyone has any tips to copy files/programs/settings/etc. from one computer to another, I'd love to hear them, since that's about what I'm gonna be doing, or trying to do.
☆ fancomics are awesome

this has been a Dreamwidth flail post

I think I've discovered why I love DW. I haven't been on it very much lately, due to time, but I miss it. Anyways, I think what attracts me is a) the environment, but much more interesting, b) the meta and discussions and actual sanity. Not to say LJ doesn't have any of those, and I should know, since I'm friends with a lot of people who are big on discussion, but there's meta about DW, about the OTW and AO3, about fandom as a whole and individual fandoms, characters and shows, and...well, anything your heart desires on DW. And the cool thing is that because of the open and accepting and largely-cool userbase, you get discussion instead of just snideness. People tell you exactly why they disagree without resorting to insults and immaturity.*

*Fandom Secrets is excluded from his statement, though before I stopped hanging out there(tiiimmeee D:) it was incredible and way better than LJ. I miss my F!S sockpuppet friends, which is not a sentence I would ever picture myself saying.

There will be a RL post tonight, I hope, with the official ~page~ and stuff. 'Till then, I'm just gonna include the button in every post(though, ftr, nobody is obligated to do anything about ever, honest). Because I am that desperate. Scroll on if it bothers you.
℘seeing doubly awesome

this is a RL post part tres

Standard disclaimer applies; if you don't care/want to know about RL, scroll on.

I'm getting ready to create the auction community, but there's so many different ones out there with so many different formats and so many different things to check up on and stuff. At this point, I'm reading through help_japan, which is the most recent one that I know of, trying to figure out how to lay it out and set it up, but it's still a bit overwhelming. I do know we won't have to worry about donating to various places, and since I can see from my end who/when/what was donated, we don't I do know, at this point, that I'm gonna need some help. Push comes to shove, I'll ask my sister or my friend to work with me, but only my friend has used LJ, and that was years ago, so I'd have to show them as we went. If you have some spare time this week/Sunday night and you're willing to help, shoot me an email(afastmachine(at)outlook(dot)com) and we can talk more about details and stuff.

It's taking longer than we expected to get the gogetfunding site up; we have to jump through several paypal hoops to verify everything, but we're getting there, I hope. Next week is my last week of working full time; I start working part-time on the 20th so I'll have more time to help mum and work on this stuff before school starts. I'm not doing everything I had planned on this fall, to save money for her and because I don't know when/if I'm gonna have to drop everything because something happened and I need to rush away.

Out church has offered about five or six thousand dollars to help, which is incredible, considering how small our church is. And that's just the church itself; that's not even asking the people in the church for help. They may not be my favorite people, but one thing's for sure; they love my mum.

Also, I have to say thank you super-tastically to the people who already donated and let me know that it worked for them(it works on my end, too). I was planning on surprising mum with it on Friday evening when I got home from work, but she'd logged in that morning and when I came home for lunch she was in tears from seeing that someone actually donated money and cared that much about her and she realized that maybe, just maybe, we might could get the money we need, so, yeah, thank you. You know who you are.

I have faith. And right now, that's all I need.
♂ hey assbutt

this is a RL post part deux

I got some great support and suggestions, so I've decided to go ahead with making an auction community and getting that set up, probably for the last half of the month. I need to check out other auctions and see how long they lasted, since I've been a part of some, but I've not kept a close eye on it. I might need some help for that, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

In the mean time, we have a donation button;

(If you do try it, even with a dollar or whatever, let me know how it goes and processes so I can get a good idea of how it works)

I'm gonna make a special funding page(it looks like I'll use gogetfunding.com, since their take is the lowest I've found), and I'll share that when I make my tumblr/twitter posts or such. I'll link everything here and keep y'all updated so those of you who offered can help boost the signal.

Thanks again, everyone <3

ETA: Anybody have name ideas for the auction community? The paypal name is Ruth Carr Cancer Treatment, but that's a bit...long and not usable.
♏ (tv) science is fun!

This is a RL post

If that turns you off, or if you can't offer any help, please scroll on by. Nobody's obligated to get involved in my offline life.

I've written this post many times, and each sounds either whiny or badgering or something stupid like that, and I really, really hate sounding like that. So I'm going to just lay out the facts and ask for help.

Mom's bad. As in, she-doesn't-have-very-much-longer bad. At this point, we're not trying chemo anymore, since it's not working. We have an idea for an alternate treatment(and yes, we're at the point where this is what we're considering), but it costs thousands of dollars. More, even than Dad and I would make in a year(which, admittedly, isn't very much, considering most people make three times that, but still). So, we're looking for ways to raise money. The problem is, we've never been very social. We don't have a huge circle of friends, rich or otherwise. We've never been to fundraisers, because frankly, we've never had any money to donate. So we have no clue as to how we should get started here. I'm asking for help. Fandom is huge and there's a wide array of talents and skills and knowledge, and I figure that somewhere, someone might have an idea. Tumblr's good at this stuff, but I don't really have any connections on Tumblr. I'm just at a loss. We're asking on Mom's facebook too, but I know I have a large circle of friends and people who care about us here in fandom too, so I figured I could ask and maybe get some replies.

If you do have any ideas, please let me know, be it a comment or a PM or an email or anything. Thanks, guys. <3